The Clique Effect

Being part of a clique is considered a cool thing, almost everyone wants to be associated with a certain group of people who have the same values or want the things they want. These days it is referred to as 'squad'. When I say clique, I'm not referring to the mean girls in secondary school or the boys who beat people for the fun of it.

The clique effect, can be positive or negative depending on who you associate yourself with. When the effect our friends have on us is talked about, we tend to relate it only to teenagers, which is not correct considering the fact it affects octogenarians too.

In order to discuss the clique effect fully, we will look into the lives of two young women; Draya and Tricia (I would have loved to use common names, but I have to protect my face LOL).

Draya is a fashion forward, jet-setting, life of the party kind of girl. She has this personality that attracts everybody, to top it up, she works out hard so all her clothes fit like a glove. Most girls want to be her and every guy would want to be with her. She had a group of friends she would always go shopping with. All the big stores knew them and would call them once they have new arrivals. Most of her whatsapp groups were to inform her of new arrivals or fashion sales.

Tricia on the other hand, is also a fashion forward person, lover of the good things life has to offer but also very much business oriented. Her group of friends are the ones Draya's would consider boring, no extravagant life, they only spend on what is important. Their whatsapp groups are for brainstorming and mastermind sessions where everybody had to bring their A-game. Due to her kind of friends, Tricia knew she had to double up her hustle to be on their level. Most of her money were invested in stocks and bonds and she also knew the importance of self development, so she always set money aside for seminars and conferences. She also buys herself things, when necessary or as a reward for a job well done.

One day Draya and Tricia meet in a boutique and Draya overhears Tricia's phone conversation with her friend and is impressed. She always felt women in business were stone faced and mean, but this one was just a normal girl like her and also within her age bracket. As soon as Tricia ended the call, Draya went to her and they exchanged contacts and a new friendship began.

Tricia introduces Draya to her group of friends, helps her understand that there is more to life than spending every penny on clothes and trivial things. Gradually, she started weaning herself off her friends, no more shopping everyday, she started taking online courses to help her organise and be able to communicate with her new clique better. She was forced to level up not because she was intimidated by them, but because they had common goals. Within a short period, Draya started helping young women find themselves using herself as a case study.

Sorry if i bored you with the fairytale, I just had to find a way to best describe this topic. In life, it is very important to know that you are the average of five people you associate yourself with. Your clique may not necessarily be the materialistic type, but do they do things that will help you level up and achieve your goals? Do the math and start adding or subtracting. God in his infinite wisdom decided to give us our family and let us choose our friends. No friend you have is custom made for you, if he/she is not helping you grow, do well to gently let them be.

It is very easy to get sucked into a well of negativity, it is a known fact that the road to destruction is a wide one with little or no obstacles. Tricia could have easily been introduced to Draya's squad and her values will change. No matter how driven you are, if you mix up with people who have no plans, you will continue to hold off on your plans till you eventually forget you had them in the first place.

Today, you can create a whatsapp group for you and your close friends who you believe want to do something great with their lives. The group shouldn't be for discussing others or other unserious stuff, it should be where you share ideas, encourage each other to do more and be more. From there, you might even create something the world needs. Please don't go telling your friends they are not good enough for you, you can gently dissociate youself without making anybody feel bad. Also no matter the outcome, do not ever feel guilty for leaving anyone behind, we are allowed to be selfish once in a while. Ask God for direction in everything you do.

May our squads be like that of Elon Musk or even better. Amen!