Escaping Asoebi Duties

December is almost here, weddings everywhere and we have to wear asoebi. The problem is that the economy is bad and the small money you have, you want  to use it for MMM or buy Christmas clothes for yourself so you can find husband or wife too (for people like me). Married people can buy the asoebi.


In my article 'Constant Asoebi Duties and Your Finances', I talked about the damage Asoebi can do to your money. It is an investment without ROI, unless the bride or groom is benevolent enough to share their spouse. LOL. Coming from a place of constant ADs with a box of never to be worn dresses and geles, I present to you 7  ways of escaping unwanted asoebi duties.

1. The after Six months call: So we all have friends who never call us, just BBM messages on your birthday and unreplied messages. When its time for asoebi, they will remember you guys are BFFs. When you get that call, just say "okwa asoebi ehhhh, you've not called me since 1900 biko be going". My dear form vex, use it as your escape plan, it works almost every time unless you are a nice girl like me. If it is not for asoebi, you are safe.

2. I have another wedding that same day: This one works all the time. When he/she calls you to tell you, just sound super excited about the asoebi till they tell you the date. Then you will be like " OMG, I have another wedding the same day ooo. I can't believe this is happening, no matter what, i will be there". You cannot wear two different dresses on the same day when you are not Katherine Heigl. That way, you can rock your own dress and Money is saved. heheh.

3. Public service announcement: I'm sure everyone has different social networks, you can use them to plead your cause. Go on your facebook, twitter, bbm and update 'Salary is not for asoebi'. You can also use it as a caption when posting on instagram, in fact create a hashtag and use it on every post. People who are planning to call you for asoebi will see it and leave you alone.

4. No middle name no asoebi: my dear sister, how can you donate money to someone who doesn't know your full name if its not charity? So start asking them your full name before you accept to do the asoebi. My other name is Onyinye, almost all my friends know that one. I have a special name for this excuse, if you don't know it, then why are we friends?

5. I don't wear that material: This one, you have to accept to buy the asoebi, then ask the kind of material. If it is lace, tell the person it itches you and gives you rashes LoL. If it is ankara, tell the person the dye burns your skin when you sweat, if it is Daviva, nne you don't have any excuse, just buy it. If they catch you wearing that material another time, tell them the lace is from Slovakia. In fact O.Y.O is your case.

6. I have the colour: If someone comes to sell a colour you already have to you, be sure to point that out, you 'cannot come and kill yourself' when you are not a pimp named slick back who probably has a closet filled with purple clothes. If the shades are different, try your best to convince them those fancy lights at the reception, can change the colour of your own to their original shade. When wine could turn to water, anything is possible. Also remind them you were a chameleon in your past life. lol.

7. It is too expensive/ I don't have money: I know a lot of people shy away from this one because they are forming one thing one thing. If the asoebi is expensive, please let the person know. If someone brings four thousand Naira lace and decides to sell it 20k, please speak up, you might be the voice of the voiceless. If you don't have money, don't pretend biko. Please say you don't have, nobody will kill you. Don't be forming 'gbogbo bigz gehs' with red account.

Please O I'm not an enemy of progress, this is just a 'joking sturvz o'. My friends can vouch for me, l'm always there when they need me. When a random person comes, if I want to be nice I pick from these seven listed above. So I'm sure you know your friends and people who you can use these for.  Also please note that your friend might not have money to pay for your asoebi, don't crucify the person. Things are hard.

Like I said before, It is a joking sturvz (In Falz voice).  Also if I've paid for your asoebi, you don't have any excuse, you must be part of my own or you refund me. LMAO. Adaoba, Ozy, Chizoba, Bewi, Jess, Adanonso, Chinweoke, Chigo etc Una don hear abi?

PS: These excuses do not apply to me, you cannot outshine the master, so ladies and gentlemen keep your money or your Dr's report for it is about to go down! LOL

Asoebi Girl,
Adanna

When Things Fall Apart

Sometimes, it seems the weight of the world is on our shoulders, financial problems, marital problems and generally feeling like you are not good enough. Times like this, you feel everything has fallen apart. In Nigeria today, almost everyone is feeling the impact of the bad economy, If you are Linda Ikeji then you are safe. hehehe. 

In my last article 'When Plan A fails', I talked about having plan A to Z if possible, but we all know it is is not easy to keep it together when each plan fails. It is a very tough thing to deal with especially when it comes to business, because you have invested time, money and effort. It chips at your self confidence and makes you feel you are not good enough. It is normal, everyone goes through difficult times too.

This article, is more like a letter to myself because I've had such a difficult time recently. Sometime last week, I was so down, I started doubting myself. The prices of all the raw materials I use for my production have either doubled or tripled, Imagine going to the market only to find out that a commodity you used to get at 18k is now 39,500k, in a space of two months. Worst part is that it is just one of the many things that I need and I can't just change the price of my product. I was distraught, I cried for two days straight. Whenever I hear "Adanna why don't you bring yogurt anymore", my eyes well up. In fact as I'm writing this article, a few tears have dropped too. When I think about my late nights and early mornings and the sleepless nights praying for the temperature not to drop too low and make a watery mess in the morning, I get more frustrated.

Right now, Am I frustrated? Yes! do I feel Like giving up? Absolutely! Will i give up? NEVER!. It hasn't been easy for me with regards to that particular business, I am hurt because it is something I'm passionate about and I really want it to succeed. Instead of letting it break me down, I have decided to pick myself up, concentrate on finding new ways of doing it to make profit without compromising the quality and also pursuing my other passions like writing and MLM.

Dear friend, it is possible you are going through some form of difficulty in your life right now, it could be that your business, relationship or marriage is falling apart or you simply can't get a grip on your finances or you are having difficulty in school, whatever it is just hold on. Giving up on yourself won't help the situation, playing victim will only make it worse. It is time to pick yourself up and find new ways to make it work, do other things to take your mind off your problems and concentrate on finding the solution. Also, forget about what people think about you. If they think you are a failure, because you've started two businesses and they failed, or you had an extra year in school by all means let them. Beating yourself up over what Mr A or B thinks about your life, will only make your life harder. 

One day, all your beautiful dreams will come true, setbacks are temporary part of life, giving up only makes it permanent. When things fall apart, you need to make some changes and not beat yourself up. You should also know that God has a counsel concerning you, you can be what you were created to be, right where you are and how you are. Start living like you know this. #noweakness.

Adanna Elechi

When Plan A Fails

Nobody starts up a business or any venture with the plan to fail, but sometimes failure is inevitable in life.

Failure doesn't always mean you are not good at something or that you are ill-prepared, external forces can run you down too. Some  of us have failed so many times, failed courses, started out in business and lost our money, gone into relationships and marriages and it failed. It can be really painful and in many cases, makes us doubt ourselves and our capabilities. Failing is not the worst part, it is letting failure define who we are.

One of the the biggest barriers both men and women face in their careers today is the internal struggle with past failures. Dear friend, before you pack up your bags and declare yourself a failure who has nothing else to offer the world, I want you to know that most of the successful people we hear their names today have failed not once, not twice. I know I'm not famous yet, so let me tell you now that I failed Math in school, remember to put it in my Biography when I make it. LoL.

I read somewhere about a soldier who went to to war with his men, when they got to the enemy territory, he asked his men to burn their ships and that the only option they had was to win the battle, they went ahead and won. This is one way of looking at life and the challenges we face, everybody doesn't have the heart of a gladiator.  I believe in having backup plans. Girls are very good with this backup game, especially when it comes to relationships, I'm just saying ohhhh, Its not that  your own 'bae' has a backup plan, I don't have too.

In our world today, we have a backup plan for almost everything, we backup our phones so we don't lose important contacts, we have generators and inverters in case the light goes off (oshe PHCN), two phones so we can always be reached, even two hearts in case someone decides to break one (hehe). But then we forget to backup our goals and plans. That is why when someone fails in business, they feel it is the end of the world.

Failure is part of the process, we fail and we learn and try not to make the same mistake again. Failure is only fatal when you do not pick anything from it and keep repeating the same mistakes. When you fail at something, giving up shouldn't be the next thing, you should try to figure out what led to it and make conscious effort to correct it and stop it from happening again. For instance, you started a small business and it failed, check how you managed your finances, if you were getting money and 'chopping' it, then it is time to think through and find out ways to cut down on excesses. If you are in school and you fail a course, instead of cursing out your lecturer or feeling sorry for yourself, find out what really happened, take responsibility and try harder. That was how I passed Math, put that down in my biography too.

Failure is not something to be ashamed of, it is an important part of the journey, when you  fall seven times try to rise eight times. If Soichiro Honda gave up because his plan A failed, we won't have those 'evil spirit' Hondas that I love. If Vera Wang decided to go to her room and never tried something else because her Olympic dreams didn't come to fruition, we won't have those beautiful wedding dresses every girl wants to wear. The list goes on and on.

Always remember to backup your source of income. Multiple streams of income will guarantee that you don't go back to the drawing board.

I understand going forward after a failure can be really difficult, but staying back and wallowing in self pity won't make it better, in fact it makes it worse. So dearie, before you give up, remember A is just one of the alphabets, you have twenty-five more. I know for a fact that before you get to M, you would have figured something out. Do not give up on yourself just yet, you are destined for greatness.

"Accept it, don’t feel ashamed. Learn from it, and bounce back. Move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve gone through my lot of failures myself and I think the best way is to get a grip on yourself and reflect on why you failed, and then just move on"
- Christine Lagarde (MD International Monetary Fund)

Adanna Elechi
connect with me on IG and twitter: @adee_elechi
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