THANKSGIVING

When I hear thanksgiving, what comes to mind is walking down the aisle in church with gifts and animals to celebrate a good thing that has happened, for the Americans, they would have their minds on November 26, 2015, their thanksgiving holiday this year. But really, what is thanksgiving and how important is it? Thanksgiving is defined as the expression of gratitude and especially to God; it is a very important aspect of our lives that we are all guilty of taking for granted, Oprah Winfrey said “be thankful for what you have; you will end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough”, try to meditate on these words for a bit before we proceed, let it really sink in.

So I had gratitude in mind today and a lecture on gratitude came my way, the speaker made reference to a bible verse 2Tim-3:2, then reminded us of how the people of Isreal were ungrateful after they were liberated from slavery, look at the event of the red sea, they probably just looked at Moses afterwards and said “bros, how you take run this thing? Nice one” God gave them manna and they started craving Onions, melons and garlic, forgetting the part where “they used to be slaves” they forgot to thank God and even went as far as building idols, well, we know how their wilderness trip went.

Characteristics of ingrates as seen in the book of second Timothy includes; selfishness, greed, boastfulness, conceited, insulting, disobedience, unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, treacherous, reckless, swollen with pride and of course ungrateful. You need to understand that the only reason God hasn’t done it for you is because you haven’t gotten to that threshold, to build a house you have to lay the foundation, that you want a good job today is not the question, the question is what are your plans for the blessings that comes with it, who else does it help? Have you humbled yourself to start small? You want a child today; can you raise a child right? Are you ready to forfeit that make up kit for baby food? Can you place some else’s need above yours? If you woke up today and had no or very little money on you; are you one to cry “why” or can you thank God for the gift of life and trust that he provides for those he loves while they are asleep? You have to be ready for a blessing before it arrives.

Instead of complaining about all the things that haven’t happened yet, thank God for all the ones that have happened, you don’t have a child but you have a loving spouse; shut up and thank God, you don’t have a job but you have roof over your head and you eat well; shut up and thank God, you sit down and worry about what would happen in 3 months or what your fate will be, you are doing Gods job and you leave no room for him to bless you, it says in Phil-4:6, “don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a THANKFUL heart” what else is there to say?

Let me share this story I heard as a kid, two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you need to trust that the outcome has a purpose. You just might not know it until sometime later, so if you ever find yourself complaining, know that you are being an ingrate for you have so much more to be thankful for if you would just count your blessings. Let me wrap up with a Yoruba adage that is translated as “a person who goes about complaining, kills faster than a witch”. 

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DIVORCE; TRAPPED BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA.

Divorce or the dissolution of marriage is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a married couple. It is legal almost all over the world except for Philippines and Vatican which has a different process. The rate of divorce has increased markedly since the twentieth century and has become commonplace in nations such as the United states, the United kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Germany and Scandinavia.

Divorce comes with a lot of baggage, it is stressful and can mar one for life especially the kids involved. It can go on for years in court while trying to share property, fight for spousal support and the worst of all custody of the children. This is the most terrible, because it exposes children to an unhealthy relationship and shows them the other sides of their parents especially the darker sides. The worst part is that it can linger for years and might even last longer than the actual marriage, we all know the story of Kim Kardashian who filed for divorce from her husband Kris Humphreys after 72 days of marriage but officially got divorced almost two years later. I know people that have gone through this and it is hell!!!!!

We can go on and on about the damage divorce causes, but then again we should consider the benefits. Yea yea scream that there are no benefits. But you must know that everything that has a disadvantage has an advantage, if not why do cockroaches have economic importance? Gotcha! :p. Divorce can bring an end to years of hardship and pain, don’t get it twisted, I’m not totally pro divorce but in some cases, you just have to accept it. Divorce can actually bring an end to the misery of children in damaged homes. We can stay on the surface and judge all we like but a lot of children are suffering in homes characterized by violence and hatred. They stay day after day knowing that there is no peace in their homes. These children have been damaged emotionally, mentally and might not even know love, if you were a child in this kind of home, wouldn’t you want your parents to get divorced so you can have peace? Women are mostly victims of abuse, if you had a sister and her husbands stays plummeting her day after day, wouldn’t you hire a divorce attorney for her immediately? Or if your brother’s wife does nothing but try to reduce him to nothing, wouldn’t you advice him to divorce her? Yes we are all pro divorce just that we haven’t had the reason to come out clean.

As I said before, I’m not totally for or totally against divorce, I wouldn’t even want to get divorced, but "I’ll rather have my children love my husband and I separately, than make them hate us together" simply because I wouldn’t want to get divorced. Marriage is not a do or die affair. In fact the rate at which people get married is steady declining, with lots of people having children out of wedlock, as to avoid the emotional stress that comes with divorce. I am not for this new trend because the bible teaches us to get married before having kids. In the same light, I do not blame people that opt for this. The world is crazy.
Divorce has its disadvantages but we cannot rule out the gains, just that embarking on the journey to divorce is just like being trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea, hell fire or sharks. If you survive you might end up happier or scarred….. Let’s think of our children, GET MARRIED ONLY FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!

Adanna Elechi

IN ADVERSITY, DO YOU BREAK OR BREAK RECORDS?

The other day I was reading a book and I came across this powerful quote.

“Adversity   causes some men to break, others to break records” _William Arthur Ward

William Arthur Ward hit the nail right on the head with this amazing quote. Everybody goes through difficult situations in life, from failing courses in school to financial problems, illnesses etc. something just happens. These things come, but what matters is the way we handle it. Adversity is like temptation, its everywhere but your true power lies in resisting it.

A lot of us do not know how to deal with issues and I’m not excluded. We fret over everything, even trivial things like when mobile network is bad, hello Adanna. Lol. The fact is that this is no issue to laugh about, many people are dealing with situations way worse than we could ever imagine and they still find a way to smile through it. I once read about a man, who had everything, his career was on the rise, when suddenly he was diagnosed with cancer. This man could have easily fallen into deep depression, and inadvertently became the most bitter man on earth, but he decided that he wouldn’t let it get to him. His mission became to help himself and other patients he had chemotherapy with, by making them laugh. He went for his treatments with comedy tapes which made them happy in what ordinarily should be a sad and depressing situation. This man beat cancer hands down, he is a WINNER. How many of us can do this? Now let us talk about our brothers and sisters in war torn countries, maybe we should just talk about the children in Northern Nigeria. These children do not know what it feels like to have a normal life, they have lost family, they have lost friends, and somehow they still manage to smile, while some of us sulk for days for something as little as losing our smart phone charger.

In recent years, we have seen a lot of people resort to suicide, drug abuse, hate crimes and even terrorism. This shows we are no strangers to dealing with tough situations. Any news different from what we expect to hear, we run into the warm embrace of alcohol and drugs or find a noose and die. Whatever happened to the tough situations do not last but tough people do, mentality?  We forget that some people were in the holocaust camps, some of the worst places any human being could ever be, but were still able to play and laugh.

All I am saying is that we should prepare our minds to deal with difficult situations. Bad things are bound to happen; our attitude towards them is what makes us winners or losers. I know it is not easy, but we need to break records rather than let adversity break us.  Let us have the “thorns have roses” mentality towards life and believe me, we will be record breakers. We must find the silver lining in the clouds.

The principles that aid in overcoming life’s obstacles are adaptability, magnanimity and perseverance. Teach yourself these principles, toughen up and remember that no matter what happens, the show must go on. The gem cannot be polished without friction.

Adversity often brings out the true spirit and character within people and leads them to make the noblest of choices. Permit me to end with the Igbo adage that says - mberede nyiri dike mana mberede ka a ji ama dike.

Adanna Elechi

THE DECADENCE WE CALL HOME

Let us take a moment to imagine living inside a garbage dump or the stench of driving around in a garbage truck. Do I hear an ewww, I sure do. But that is the world we are living in. We live in filth, may be not physically, but definitely mentally.

A lot of things have been going on around us lately, and pardon me for saying but, most of them are nothing to be proud of. We have moved past the days children hear about the men and women who have achieved greatness through hard work and perseverance, the days of Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka and a host others. The only thing our young ones know about Bill Gates today is that he is rich. How he made his money we don’t care. The world has deteriorated so bad that the people we look up to as great men and women are the Caitlyn Jenner’s of the world and the gay right activists. All I have to say is shame on us. We are all part of the rot eating our world today.

Many times I have sat down to ask myself where the world is heading to. Is it coming to an end or are we going to witness more degeneration in the near future. These thoughts reached new heights as I opened a very popular blog the other day and saw an article that left me dazed; pedophiles are now asking for the same rights as the homosexuals, can you just imagine that? Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger. This is the world we live in right now. They are arguing that their desire for children is a sexual orientation no different than heterosexual or homosexuals.  Many of us will say that it will never happen blah blah blah yadly yadly yad, but let me inform you that prior to 1973, homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder. It was in 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association declassified it from their list of mental disorders. Now a group of psychiatrists are said to be proposing a new definition for pedophilia, in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health of The APA. The B4U-Act refers to pedophiles’ as “minor-attracted people” a sugarcoated title to give the disgusting act a subtle touch.

I would have also laughed off this idea and said it wasn’t possible. But at this rate, anything is possible. We have become more accepting of things that in the not so distant past were condemned by both society and even religion, we are open to anything and everything, and nobody wants to be accused of being judgmental so we keep mute in the face of moral degradation. That is why our homes are being taken over by religious extremists, transgender, homosexuals and soon pedophiles’, imagine a world where the school teacher of your eight year old daughter made sexual advances at her and it was his right to do so. It's laughable right now and seems all fun and games until the Supreme Court rules in their favour and we see these sick men openly make advances at our children. Ask the people who have experienced this, it is horrible. You know how disgusted we are by the men who marry children, imagine what our world will be if something like this is legalized. This shows our young girls are not safe, from painful sexual intercourse to early child births which could eventually lead to VVF. Just look at the pain we are about to unleash on our innocent children. The emotional trauma associated with this is a whole other story. We should think deeply about the grave consequences and shut this evil down before it’s born.

The rot in our society has eaten deep, but that doesn’t mean we can’t control it so it doesn’t eat deeper. Let us join hands together and heal our world, let us go back to the times we celebrated people for academic excellence, great business ideas, charity and other positive feats. Let us give our attention to what is truly important. If people were not so distracted by who is transitioning or who is coming out of the closet, maybe we would have found a cure for cancer, just maybe. We have gone from praising what is right and condemning what is wrong by hiding behind the term, being "open minded" forgetting that, the pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, the former of which is hard to find these days. I once read a quote that said "wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it."

 Adanna Elechi

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