Friend Like Omada (33Pendownforfriendship)

God knew I couldn’t do life without her, so six months after I was born came my best friend and twin-cousin Omada. Just like the double 3 in "33" Export Lager beer, we have been inseparable ever since. 

Since November 5th 199* ( you don’t need to calculate our age) I have had a partner and never for once have I felt alone. When I was an only child, she held me down. Even in my single to stupor days, she was there for me. We are so close we have our own ship name, ‘OmAd’

Everyone knew about our friendship and bought us things accordingly, we had uniforms back then and we still do today and we will continue to have. We were in the same class in primary school and our long vacations were amazing. We always had the most amazing time at our Aunt Chinelo’s house in Port Harcourt, wearing our matching outfits to the amusement parks and also getting more ‘to match’ outfits after the holidays. Funny enough, we were there together sometime this year and she still bought us matching T-shirts with ‘leggings not pants’ boldly written on them. You will find out why she had to buy those soon. 

Just like any friendship, we have had our ups and downs, catfights but the one I will never forget will be the day she threatened to report me to Mrs. Obiora in grade 3 if I didn’t confess Ogbonna drew my homework for me. I hated her that day and I felt she was only jealous I scored higher on the Agric homework until I grew up and realized it was a lesson in integrity. She knew so much at a young age. I sincerely hope she wasn’t jealous ‘shaa’ lol. In all those fights, love always conquered. 

Omada is always there whenever you need her, I remember one time in 2007 when we were fresh out of high school and getting to understand fashion a little more, our parents gave us money to buy clothes we needed for holiday lessons. I spent mine on silly things like puff puff and coke. When it was time to go to Kevin’s shop to buy jeans, I didn’t have a dime and I needed the jeans badly so she loaned me 5k but never asked me for the money. I don’t remember offering to pay back. hope she doesn’t ask me for it now ooo.  After our SSCE results came out, I didn’t make all my papers instead of Omada to celebrate her results, she curled up in a corner with me to console me. She only wanted me to win with her because it was never a competition.

When the wise ones said, “in adversity, you know your true friends” they weren’t lying. In 2017, when my Dad passed, she came straight to the hospital where we were and never left my side till one week after the Burial. She put her life on hold for me, cried when I cried, laughed when I laughed and even made sure I didn’t cry too much. It felt like she was in my heart and understood exactly how I felt at every point. That I am not scarred today Is because Omada was with me through it all and I am not exaggerating. I know I have always loved her, but that period took the love 1000 notches higher. 

I wouldn’t do life without my sister and my best friend Omada, she has me covered at every angle. If I need a dress for tomorrow, she is a tailor so I am definitely getting that dress. If my wig is bent sideways, she is there to fix it for me, or my makeup looks weird, she is there to rescue me from looking like my village masquerade. I am not ashamed to say I need her like I need water. I haven’t met anyone as selfless as she is. 

I am even more grateful for the fact she is also family and no matter what, we are stuck for life. Yes, That’s my 'assurance' when I am looking for your trouble. Come and beat me! lol

My darling Nneamaka, you put the F in friendship. Thanks for always having my back, for being a shoulder to lean on and always being available to listen to me. Thanks for all the good memories you have given me. I can’t even imagine what my life would have been without you in it, who would I share ballot box and voting jokes with? Nobody can ever decode that joke. If we had to start life afresh, I am definitely bringing you along, so we can use toilets bags as handbags, wear colorful leggings over again and still feel we are the best thing after sliced bread. I will be happy to re-rock those black and white sunglasses we used at my high school graduation with you by my side and also do all those official and unofficial asoebis together again.

We are definitely drinking "33" Export Lager on your wedding day straight from the bottle o, no cups and definitely not the Ajebo cans. You will also have to open it with scissors like you always do right In that reception hall and we will take pictures and share with the hashtag ‘#33exportlagerbride’. It is definitely happening!!! 

I can’t wait to travel the world with you by my side, sailing coast to coast sipping the premium lager, holding hands and growing old. We will be like that Grandma on Instagram begging for her cold beer only difference is that we will have a lifetime supply of "33" Export Lager.

check out this cute picture Omada enjoying her cold bottle of "33" Export Lager, very well captured and captioned by yours truly back in December of 2017.

I love you bestie! #OmADforever #33pendownforfriendship #33bestiegoals 

The Girl Child I Never Want To See Again.

Growing up privileged, made me blind to many things I needed to see. Every morning, I would wear my beautiful school uniform, eat breakfast and pick my lunch box filled with food and have my mother drive me to school. I never paid attention to what my disadvantaged mates had to go through those mornings.

As a kid I used to go to my village a lot, almost every weekend. I saw a lot of children with tattered clothes who did not go to school. We would sort some of our clothes and give them. I used to see children especially the girls wandering in the bushes looking for firewood, they also came into our compound to fetch water early in the morning. I knew they were poor but I never understood what it meant to be poor. I took things for granted.

Although I want to talk about poverty in general, I am more interested in the girl child and how it affects her the most. The girl child is the one most likely to remain in abject poverty, continue to wander in bushes in search of firewood, wear tattered clothes for the rest of her life. This is because her chances of getting educated is slim and in many cases non-existent. Even when she has the chance to go to school, she cannot abandon her chores, she needs to clean, cook and most importantly be married at a certain age and bear children. This was her grandmother's fate, her mother's and will likely be hers. This is the girl child I wasn't and the girl child I never want to see again. We have the power to end this cycle.

It is really sad that on a Monday morning in 2017, we still see underage children especially girls, in farms not for school practicals, but for survival, we see them hawking on the streets, praying for new police and military checkpoints so they can have access to more customers. 2017, just three years to vision 2020.

The remedy to  these vicious cycle of poverty is in education, which the right of every child. In a country like Nigeria it still feels like education is the birthright of just the rich due to the exorbitant fees paid in most schools. Even when the poor people have access to it, the girl child is still denied access just because she is a girl. Educating the girl child is of great importance to the survival of the human race. This is a fact we have refused to accept. Studies have shown that if all women completed primary education, under-five mortality rate will fall by 15% in low-lower-middle income countries thereby saving the lives of one million children. Also if more women completed secondary education, the risk of acquiring HIV is reduced. This goes a long way in helping the world in the fight against this deadly disease.

The first time I heard about #ONE was on Big Brother Naija (oya roll your eyes), I was intrigued by what they have accomplished worldwide and most importantly in Africa, i knew for sure I wanted to be a part of it. I don't want to see the tattered, uneducated, married at 12 girl child anymore. I want to see that every girl child has an opportunity to be all that she can be, the girl should have a voice and the cycle of poverty should be broken. I want more girls in school, not just for the sake of going to school but to help the entire human race.

Visit one.org today and join this movement.

#ONE

Escaping Asoebi Duties

December is almost here, weddings everywhere and we have to wear asoebi. The problem is that the economy is bad and the small money you have, you want  to use it for MMM or buy Christmas clothes for yourself so you can find husband or wife too (for people like me). Married people can buy the asoebi.


In my article 'Constant Asoebi Duties and Your Finances', I talked about the damage Asoebi can do to your money. It is an investment without ROI, unless the bride or groom is benevolent enough to share their spouse. LOL. Coming from a place of constant ADs with a box of never to be worn dresses and geles, I present to you 7  ways of escaping unwanted asoebi duties.

1. The after Six months call: So we all have friends who never call us, just BBM messages on your birthday and unreplied messages. When its time for asoebi, they will remember you guys are BFFs. When you get that call, just say "okwa asoebi ehhhh, you've not called me since 1900 biko be going". My dear form vex, use it as your escape plan, it works almost every time unless you are a nice girl like me. If it is not for asoebi, you are safe.

2. I have another wedding that same day: This one works all the time. When he/she calls you to tell you, just sound super excited about the asoebi till they tell you the date. Then you will be like " OMG, I have another wedding the same day ooo. I can't believe this is happening, no matter what, i will be there". You cannot wear two different dresses on the same day when you are not Katherine Heigl. That way, you can rock your own dress and Money is saved. heheh.

3. Public service announcement: I'm sure everyone has different social networks, you can use them to plead your cause. Go on your facebook, twitter, bbm and update 'Salary is not for asoebi'. You can also use it as a caption when posting on instagram, in fact create a hashtag and use it on every post. People who are planning to call you for asoebi will see it and leave you alone.

4. No middle name no asoebi: my dear sister, how can you donate money to someone who doesn't know your full name if its not charity? So start asking them your full name before you accept to do the asoebi. My other name is Onyinye, almost all my friends know that one. I have a special name for this excuse, if you don't know it, then why are we friends?

5. I don't wear that material: This one, you have to accept to buy the asoebi, then ask the kind of material. If it is lace, tell the person it itches you and gives you rashes LoL. If it is ankara, tell the person the dye burns your skin when you sweat, if it is Daviva, nne you don't have any excuse, just buy it. If they catch you wearing that material another time, tell them the lace is from Slovakia. In fact O.Y.O is your case.

6. I have the colour: If someone comes to sell a colour you already have to you, be sure to point that out, you 'cannot come and kill yourself' when you are not a pimp named slick back who probably has a closet filled with purple clothes. If the shades are different, try your best to convince them those fancy lights at the reception, can change the colour of your own to their original shade. When wine could turn to water, anything is possible. Also remind them you were a chameleon in your past life. lol.

7. It is too expensive/ I don't have money: I know a lot of people shy away from this one because they are forming one thing one thing. If the asoebi is expensive, please let the person know. If someone brings four thousand Naira lace and decides to sell it 20k, please speak up, you might be the voice of the voiceless. If you don't have money, don't pretend biko. Please say you don't have, nobody will kill you. Don't be forming 'gbogbo bigz gehs' with red account.

Please O I'm not an enemy of progress, this is just a 'joking sturvz o'. My friends can vouch for me, l'm always there when they need me. When a random person comes, if I want to be nice I pick from these seven listed above. So I'm sure you know your friends and people who you can use these for.  Also please note that your friend might not have money to pay for your asoebi, don't crucify the person. Things are hard.

Like I said before, It is a joking sturvz (In Falz voice).  Also if I've paid for your asoebi, you don't have any excuse, you must be part of my own or you refund me. LMAO. Adaoba, Ozy, Chizoba, Bewi, Jess, Adanonso, Chinweoke, Chigo etc Una don hear abi?

PS: These excuses do not apply to me, you cannot outshine the master, so ladies and gentlemen keep your money or your Dr's report for it is about to go down! LOL

Asoebi Girl,
Adanna

When Things Fall Apart

Sometimes, it seems the weight of the world is on our shoulders, financial problems, marital problems and generally feeling like you are not good enough. Times like this, you feel everything has fallen apart. In Nigeria today, almost everyone is feeling the impact of the bad economy, If you are Linda Ikeji then you are safe. hehehe. 

In my last article 'When Plan A fails', I talked about having plan A to Z if possible, but we all know it is is not easy to keep it together when each plan fails. It is a very tough thing to deal with especially when it comes to business, because you have invested time, money and effort. It chips at your self confidence and makes you feel you are not good enough. It is normal, everyone goes through difficult times too.

This article, is more like a letter to myself because I've had such a difficult time recently. Sometime last week, I was so down, I started doubting myself. The prices of all the raw materials I use for my production have either doubled or tripled, Imagine going to the market only to find out that a commodity you used to get at 18k is now 39,500k, in a space of two months. Worst part is that it is just one of the many things that I need and I can't just change the price of my product. I was distraught, I cried for two days straight. Whenever I hear "Adanna why don't you bring yogurt anymore", my eyes well up. In fact as I'm writing this article, a few tears have dropped too. When I think about my late nights and early mornings and the sleepless nights praying for the temperature not to drop too low and make a watery mess in the morning, I get more frustrated.

Right now, Am I frustrated? Yes! do I feel Like giving up? Absolutely! Will i give up? NEVER!. It hasn't been easy for me with regards to that particular business, I am hurt because it is something I'm passionate about and I really want it to succeed. Instead of letting it break me down, I have decided to pick myself up, concentrate on finding new ways of doing it to make profit without compromising the quality and also pursuing my other passions like writing and MLM.

Dear friend, it is possible you are going through some form of difficulty in your life right now, it could be that your business, relationship or marriage is falling apart or you simply can't get a grip on your finances or you are having difficulty in school, whatever it is just hold on. Giving up on yourself won't help the situation, playing victim will only make it worse. It is time to pick yourself up and find new ways to make it work, do other things to take your mind off your problems and concentrate on finding the solution. Also, forget about what people think about you. If they think you are a failure, because you've started two businesses and they failed, or you had an extra year in school by all means let them. Beating yourself up over what Mr A or B thinks about your life, will only make your life harder. 

One day, all your beautiful dreams will come true, setbacks are temporary part of life, giving up only makes it permanent. When things fall apart, you need to make some changes and not beat yourself up. You should also know that God has a counsel concerning you, you can be what you were created to be, right where you are and how you are. Start living like you know this. #noweakness.

Adanna Elechi

When Plan A Fails

Nobody starts up a business or any venture with the plan to fail, but sometimes failure is inevitable in life.

Failure doesn't always mean you are not good at something or that you are ill-prepared, external forces can run you down too. Some  of us have failed so many times, failed courses, started out in business and lost our money, gone into relationships and marriages and it failed. It can be really painful and in many cases, makes us doubt ourselves and our capabilities. Failing is not the worst part, it is letting failure define who we are.

One of the the biggest barriers both men and women face in their careers today is the internal struggle with past failures. Dear friend, before you pack up your bags and declare yourself a failure who has nothing else to offer the world, I want you to know that most of the successful people we hear their names today have failed not once, not twice. I know I'm not famous yet, so let me tell you now that I failed Math in school, remember to put it in my Biography when I make it. LoL.

I read somewhere about a soldier who went to to war with his men, when they got to the enemy territory, he asked his men to burn their ships and that the only option they had was to win the battle, they went ahead and won. This is one way of looking at life and the challenges we face, everybody doesn't have the heart of a gladiator.  I believe in having backup plans. Girls are very good with this backup game, especially when it comes to relationships, I'm just saying ohhhh, Its not that  your own 'bae' has a backup plan, I don't have too.

In our world today, we have a backup plan for almost everything, we backup our phones so we don't lose important contacts, we have generators and inverters in case the light goes off (oshe PHCN), two phones so we can always be reached, even two hearts in case someone decides to break one (hehe). But then we forget to backup our goals and plans. That is why when someone fails in business, they feel it is the end of the world.

Failure is part of the process, we fail and we learn and try not to make the same mistake again. Failure is only fatal when you do not pick anything from it and keep repeating the same mistakes. When you fail at something, giving up shouldn't be the next thing, you should try to figure out what led to it and make conscious effort to correct it and stop it from happening again. For instance, you started a small business and it failed, check how you managed your finances, if you were getting money and 'chopping' it, then it is time to think through and find out ways to cut down on excesses. If you are in school and you fail a course, instead of cursing out your lecturer or feeling sorry for yourself, find out what really happened, take responsibility and try harder. That was how I passed Math, put that down in my biography too.

Failure is not something to be ashamed of, it is an important part of the journey, when you  fall seven times try to rise eight times. If Soichiro Honda gave up because his plan A failed, we won't have those 'evil spirit' Hondas that I love. If Vera Wang decided to go to her room and never tried something else because her Olympic dreams didn't come to fruition, we won't have those beautiful wedding dresses every girl wants to wear. The list goes on and on.

Always remember to backup your source of income. Multiple streams of income will guarantee that you don't go back to the drawing board.

I understand going forward after a failure can be really difficult, but staying back and wallowing in self pity won't make it better, in fact it makes it worse. So dearie, before you give up, remember A is just one of the alphabets, you have twenty-five more. I know for a fact that before you get to M, you would have figured something out. Do not give up on yourself just yet, you are destined for greatness.

"Accept it, don’t feel ashamed. Learn from it, and bounce back. Move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve gone through my lot of failures myself and I think the best way is to get a grip on yourself and reflect on why you failed, and then just move on"
- Christine Lagarde (MD International Monetary Fund)

Adanna Elechi
connect with me on IG and twitter: @adee_elechi
Adanna Elechi on facebook.


New post every Tuesday on or before 5pm.
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The Clique Effect

Being part of a clique is considered a cool thing, almost everyone wants to be associated with a certain group of people who have the same values or want the things they want. These days it is referred to as 'squad'. When I say clique, I'm not referring to the mean girls in secondary school or the boys who beat people for the fun of it.

The clique effect, can be positive or negative depending on who you associate yourself with. When the effect our friends have on us is talked about, we tend to relate it only to teenagers, which is not correct considering the fact it affects octogenarians too.

In order to discuss the clique effect fully, we will look into the lives of two young women; Draya and Tricia (I would have loved to use common names, but I have to protect my face LOL).

Draya is a fashion forward, jet-setting, life of the party kind of girl. She has this personality that attracts everybody, to top it up, she works out hard so all her clothes fit like a glove. Most girls want to be her and every guy would want to be with her. She had a group of friends she would always go shopping with. All the big stores knew them and would call them once they have new arrivals. Most of her whatsapp groups were to inform her of new arrivals or fashion sales.

Tricia on the other hand, is also a fashion forward person, lover of the good things life has to offer but also very much business oriented. Her group of friends are the ones Draya's would consider boring, no extravagant life, they only spend on what is important. Their whatsapp groups are for brainstorming and mastermind sessions where everybody had to bring their A-game. Due to her kind of friends, Tricia knew she had to double up her hustle to be on their level. Most of her money were invested in stocks and bonds and she also knew the importance of self development, so she always set money aside for seminars and conferences. She also buys herself things, when necessary or as a reward for a job well done.

One day Draya and Tricia meet in a boutique and Draya overhears Tricia's phone conversation with her friend and is impressed. She always felt women in business were stone faced and mean, but this one was just a normal girl like her and also within her age bracket. As soon as Tricia ended the call, Draya went to her and they exchanged contacts and a new friendship began.

Tricia introduces Draya to her group of friends, helps her understand that there is more to life than spending every penny on clothes and trivial things. Gradually, she started weaning herself off her friends, no more shopping everyday, she started taking online courses to help her organise and be able to communicate with her new clique better. She was forced to level up not because she was intimidated by them, but because they had common goals. Within a short period, Draya started helping young women find themselves using herself as a case study.

Sorry if i bored you with the fairytale, I just had to find a way to best describe this topic. In life, it is very important to know that you are the average of five people you associate yourself with. Your clique may not necessarily be the materialistic type, but do they do things that will help you level up and achieve your goals? Do the math and start adding or subtracting. God in his infinite wisdom decided to give us our family and let us choose our friends. No friend you have is custom made for you, if he/she is not helping you grow, do well to gently let them be.

It is very easy to get sucked into a well of negativity, it is a known fact that the road to destruction is a wide one with little or no obstacles. Tricia could have easily been introduced to Draya's squad and her values will change. No matter how driven you are, if you mix up with people who have no plans, you will continue to hold off on your plans till you eventually forget you had them in the first place.

Today, you can create a whatsapp group for you and your close friends who you believe want to do something great with their lives. The group shouldn't be for discussing others or other unserious stuff, it should be where you share ideas, encourage each other to do more and be more. From there, you might even create something the world needs. Please don't go telling your friends they are not good enough for you, you can gently dissociate youself without making anybody feel bad. Also no matter the outcome, do not ever feel guilty for leaving anyone behind, we are allowed to be selfish once in a while. Ask God for direction in everything you do.

May our squads be like that of Elon Musk or even better. Amen!

The Power Of Mentorship

In the world of google, bing and other search engines, we tend to neglect the power of mentorship. In the olden days, young girls were sent to live with their grandmothers, who taught them how to cook and keep a home. Young men were sent to learn a trade, what we call 'boy boy'. The idea was to have someone who is experienced to guide them. These days, we tend to do everything our way, simply google it or watch a youTube video and we are good.

A mentor is a friend or person who guides a less experienced person, by building trust and positive relationships. Mentorship is a relationship where a more experienced or knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. The power of mentorship cannot be overemphasised, according to Forbes, it is  key to success for young professionals.

Growing up, we  acquired a set of core values from our parents, friends and other relations. A lot of people's fingerprints are all over us. These and many other factors have gone a long way in shaping our attitudes towards life and business. Growing up, my Dad always emphasised on entrepreneurship, he also wanted me to write. He kept on buying me Queen primer, dictionaries, I even got a Thesaurus when i was really young. These played a major part in shaping me.

When I first started blogging, it was mainly to share stories and write about random stuff, people who know my first blog would tell you about the crazy things I used to write. Don't bother yourself, you will never find it. When I stumbled upon Arese Ugwu's instagram (I know I'm obsessed), my perspective changed. I discovered I could make an impact doing what I love. I'm still writing, the difference is that I now write with purpose. That is the effect a mentor can have on you.

A lot of young people have in them potentials to be great, but their major stumbling block is that they do not have who to help them be all they can be. A mentor will give you insights, help you with the blind spots you couldn't see, make sure you build discipline you couldn't have on your own, in fact help you maximise your potentials generally.

Life and business are hard, and even the smallest measure of success requires the help of lots of mentors, family and friends. You cannot always do it by yourself. Everyone knows the small number of people who have made an impact on them,  whose ways they admire, those are your mentors.

Using myself as a case study, the power of mentorship to me is underrated. My encounter with Arese has been nothing but mind blowing. We actually do not have a personal relationship, just a few retweets on twitter, Instagram likes and one or two direct messages but honestly, i have felt the impact. I am inspired to do more each and everyday, with each new feat she conquers, I have hope that I can do it too. Through her, I have come across a couple of other really smart people who indirectly mentor me.

As a young person starting out in business or any career of your choice, do well to find yourself a couple of people who are experienced in that field. Do not be afraid to ask anyone to mentor you. Those people at the top are always willing to help, provided you are ready to learn. If you are not in direct contact with someone you admire, just try to keep up with them, one day you will be noticed.

If you go on the internet, you will find tips on finding the right mentor, but i believe you know what you want and you can find them yourself. Apart from my parents and few close relatives, I found most of the people I look up to on social media. Your Instagram shouldn't just be for looking at fine people and watching videos, your twitter shouldn't just be for 'jamming' people up and down. They can be used for productive activities too.

These are some of the accounts I follow;
@smartmoneyarese
+She Leads Africa
@foundr
@womeneur
+Business Babes
@forbesafrica
@heatherllove

and of course Tony Elumelu

May you find someone who would help you conquer the world. Amen

Adanna Elechi
@adee_elechi
Instagram and twitter
Facebook.com Adanna Elechi